I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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