I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
