that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
