I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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