I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
