Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She said her name was "party"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
