I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
