Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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