drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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