I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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