Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
