I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
