so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
