paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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