i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
