k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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