I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
