Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
