p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
