she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
