the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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