drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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