i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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