i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
