I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
