that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
