Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
