the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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