sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why are your pants in the freezer?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
