your thong is hanging out like whoa
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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