We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
