All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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