I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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