dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
