I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
