for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
