Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Drake has all the answers
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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