well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
