dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
