"it" just moved
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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