i don't like sucking hair
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
