Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
