He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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