It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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