you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
