my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
