I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
sex in a hospital.. check
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
