it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize