i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
