i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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