that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
